Responding and Reflecting- #5

Book: Lolita

Lens: Feminist

Growing up, every thing I did or any harm that came my way always seemed to be my fault and I grew up with this mindset. If I fell down the swing, it was my fault for going on it. If I scraped my knee, it was my fault for not watching where I was going. Even in preschool, when I walked in on a boy peeing- it was my fault for not knocking first. If my brother or dad got angry at something I did, it was my fault for aggravating them.  I adjusted to this my fault mindset that I believe a lot of young children are exposed to. Young children grow up hearing lecture after lecture and it is all because the grown-ups know best for them. Especially towards the idea of pleasing men.

I relate this example to the development of Lolita. Truthfully, Lolita is a child whether she wants to admit or whether Humbert want to admit it or not. We see in the book that Humbert is obsessed with micromanagement and having things go his way. In this sense, he focuses on the things Lolita does that he does not enjoy, most of the time it is the childish tendencies she seems to have. It seems as though he loves her childish looks, but does not like her movements, attitude, way of responding, the way she scrunches her nose, and so on. Humbert fantasizes on the idea of them being together, but he also focuses on the fact that she has to do everything he says. In reality, it is Humbert who put these ideas into his head, it is him that expresses his "love" towards Lolita. Not once in the novel does he share his desires towards Lolita with anyone other than Lolita aside from the reader. In one scene,  Humbert starts a "playful" tussle with Lolita causing her to put her legs on his lap to which Humbert rubs himself against her and climaxes apparently without her noticing. After this is over, she stands up and she carries on- obviously having no idea about what had just happened. This again shows us how Humbert has created these things in his head.  He is seeking sexual fulfillment in this scene whereas Lolita is only playing. I believe that by categorizing Lolita as a "different girl-child" and even adding "demoniac" features to her, helps Humbert turn her into something she is not in his head. For this reason, I don't believe that Lolita is to blame or that she "provoked" Humbert which caused him to act this way. Humbert's age and "wisdom" should know better than to chase after a 12 year old. Additionally, when Charlotte, Lolita's mother, passed away he dreads making Lolita his legal daughter. Although in the book  we continuously see him trying to be a father figure and describing himself as someone who cares for her in more of a sexual way. I don't believe that Lolita should have to apologize and have to explain her actions because she was the victim in this necessary. Even later in the book when she urges him to kiss her, she does not know any better as we later see when she continues acting like a child and by her speech. This culture that women should have to please men leads some readers to believe that Lolita is at fault when she egged it on. This is wrong.